The Girl Rides A Bike!

In the recent past, the Girl has attended what’s called ‘bike camp’, a program that teaches children how to ride bicycles safely.  And somewhere along the line she has done away with her training wheels.

She rides!

When she comes to my house, she’s never brought her bike. We tend to walk everywhere. So, I only found out about her skills this weekend. That’s a by-product of the two-home arrangement, I guess; finding out about milestones after the fact. I feel vaguely sad about that, not seeing her “getting it” as she learns to ride. I wish I’d been there to help her with it.

But, it’s not really about me. It’s about her, and how proud she feels about being able to do something fun on her own.

Anyway, here’s the reason you’re tuning in here – the pictures.

Dig that crazy polka-dot helmet!

Off to the park.

A sunny day on two wheels.

My Girl grows up, every day.

The Girl, Her Dad, Levon Helm, and His ‘Girl’

As some readers out there may or may not know, I’ve spent a few years writing a music blog, The Delete Bin, which among other things shows my geekdom surrounding all kinds of musical genres, ranging from pop music to jazz. This post here on MatGtGaM can be looked upon as something of a cross-over, maybe. But, this is ultimately about fathers and daughters, and their journey together. So, it fits.

Anyway, on April 19 of this year, one of my musical heroes passed away at the age of 71 after a long battle with cancer; Levon Helm. For those of you who don’t recognize the name, he was the drummer, singer, and multi-instrumentalist of the incredibly influential rock group The Band. Over the course of their life as a group, they’d backed Bob Dylan when he played his first “electric” concerts in the mid 1960s. They’d also created critically acclaimed, even game-changing albums, had played the Woodstock festival, and were featured in Martin Scorcese’s film about their last show – The Last Waltz.

But, all the while, Levon was also the father of a daughter, Amy. Here’s a cool picture of them, which recently appeared on Amy Helm’s Facebook page in memoriam of her late dad.

Source: plochmann.blogspot.com via Jamie on Pinterest

In this shot, it looks like Amy is about three or four years old. Her dad was in the heyday of the Band by this time, with this picture probably taken just before Levon and the rest of the group hit the road with Bob Dylan again for one of the biggest tours of the 1970s. Yet, he was a devoted father, with a daughter clearly devoted right back. Look at Amy’s little hand as it curls around the back of his neck. That’s love.

Later, when Amy grew up, the two of them would collaborate as fellow musicians, recording and touring, even here to Vancouver where I saw them play in 2010. They’d become close as adults. They’d become friends. This was inspiring to me at the time, when I saw them perform together.

But, in seeing this picture, it struck me that they had a relationship that must have developed over time to get things to the point where they could develop a healthy adult relationship. Even in the middle of his success as a touring musician in a major act, he still found the time for Amy, who when she became an adult herself took to friendship and artistic collaboration with her father as a matter of course.

I imagine that the story isn’t quite as simple as that.  I imagine there were struggles and strains between them like there are in every relationship. But, what I’m reminded of when I look at this picture is that I too have a goal that’s pretty clear where the Girl is concerned; see to it that I function as best I can as her father now, as she needs me to be for her during this period of her childhood, so that later on, she and I can also become good friends as adults.

I think ultimately this is what every parent wants. It certainly looks as though Levon and Amy had it. In her grief, I imagine this is one of the treasures that Amy can take as her own, and is something from her dad that is stronger and more enduring than his death.

For more information about Amy Helm, and her relationship with her dad (among other things), read this interview with Amy Helm.

The Girl In Stanley Park On Earth Day Weekend, 2012

On Sunday this week, it was Earth Day. So, on the Saturday, the Girl and I sallied forth to spend the day outdoors. Specifically, we decided that it might be fun to take the SkyTrain down to Stanley Park, leaving the car at home and seeing what we could see.

Taking public transit used to be a matter of course for us. Since I bought my car last year, our adventures on the SkyTrain have been fewer than they used to be, I must admit. But, what better time than Earth Day weekend than to go green, not just in leaving the car at home, but by reconnecting with nature?

Stanley Park is a good place to do that, with a natural temperate rainforest just a single bus ride away from downtown Vancouver. So, we hit Royal City Center Mall, stocked up on fruit, and a bag of mixed nuts for the road, bought the Girl a transit pass, and set off on our transit adventure, hoping on the 155 bus.

We took the SkyTrain downtown, and after lunch at Tim Horton’s on West Pender, and upon stepping off the 19 bus, I used my questionable directional skills to get us to Lost Lagoon. One of the missions of the day was to see a swan, you see. Since my directional skills really are questionable, it took a while before we got to Lost Lagoon. Instead, we took a trek to the Rose Garden.

From here, we took to the trails, reading about the health of the forests, and the delicate balance of its ecosystem on signs along the way.  We wound our way down the trail to Beaver Lake, where we saw wood ducks, red-wing blackbirds, sparrows, and (amazingly!) a heron.

After a snack (bringing snacks is key to these kinds of outings, people!), we took a stroll back to the Rose garden, just to hang out again. There were highlights here too once we stationed ourselves on a patch of grass in the sunshine, with several newlyweds, dressed in their finery, and in one case in a horse-drawn carriage being among the most notable.

But, the real highlight may have been the swans, since I eventually did find Lost Lagoon. Did I get a picture of them? Not one that turned out, I’m afraid. But, I do have an enduring memory of a great day out with the Girl, in which we had lots of laughs, lots of ed-juh-cay-shun about our natural world in time for Earth Day, and a positive verdict from the Girl:

The Girl: This was a great idea!

Me: What was? (thinking it would be something about the trip)

The Girl: Bringing snacks!

The Girl and the Yellow Belt

The Girl, after practicing very hard, got her yellow belt in karate.

Here are some pictures.

The next thing is the yellow-black stripe, and being responsible at times for teaching the white belts their first katas.

“When I was a white belt,” she told me, “I wasn’t sure if I could do it.”

“And how do you feel now?”

“I feel really proud of myself, Dad.”

I feel proud of her, too.

The Girl and the New Word Game

The Girl and I play a lot of word games and guessing games, mostly in the car as we’re to-ing and fro-ing from daycare to home, and back to her mum’s.

A popular one has been the “Animal game”, which I’ve mentioned here a couple of times by now, which is basically twenty questions about animals, without the “twenty” restriction. But, The Girl is constantly seeking to innovate when it comes to word games and guessing games, usually with extremely ambitious rules that  seem to be weighted in her favour.

The Girl: I thought of a new game. I choose a letter, and then you guess which word begins with the letter.

Me: OK. It can be any word?

The Girl: Yes. I’ll go first: “E”

Me: Um. Can I have a hint?

The Girl: It has to do with an animal.

Me: Right. So, this word is animal-related in some way. Um. Elephant?

The Girl: No.

Me: OK. Egret?

The Girl: No.

Me: Elk?

The Girl: No.

Me: Um, earthworm?

The Girl: NO.

Me: OK, I can’t actually think of any other “E” words that are animal-related.

The Girl: Want me to tell you?

Me: Sure.

The Girl: It’s “donkey”!

Me: Donkey? That doesn’t begin with “E”.

The Girl: But donkeys say “EEEE-YAWWW”

Me: I don’t like this game.

The Girl and Anti-Bullying Day

Today, February 29th 2012, is Anti-bullying day, an event observed at the Girl’s school. She, along with the rest of the school, was encouraged to wear a pink shirt to show support. It was an official school event, during an age when we’ve seen the effects of bullying carried out to their logical conclusion – in pain, agony, and death.

When I was growing up, bullies were meant to be “ignored”. That would, we were told, discourage the bully. Many of us found that idea to be pure bullshit, in a time when bullying was very much thought of as some Darwinian rite of passage by many parents, teachers, and school administrators. It was something that was a part of childhood, to be expected.

But these days, we know what a crock that is.

And where our generation of parents are often pretty uptight about a lot of things (myself very much included), at least we’ve got that right – bullying isn’t a rite of passage. It’s the road to heartache, and loss.  I am glad the Girl is growing up during a time when this is the received wisdom by those in charge.

On the drive home tonight, The Girl asked about bullying. She asked what it really meant. So, I tried my best to explain that bullying must be stopped because it keeps going unless people say that it shouldn’t. That bullies are, very often, bullied themselves. If a parent bullies their child, then it’s only natural that the child will in turn be a bully, first at school, and then maybe when they become parents.

What I didn’t get into is the tendency for whole nations to become bullies. It is possible for one set of people to seek to destroy another because they had once been downtrodden themselves, crushed (just as a for-instance) by a long, expensive war that it was penalized for losing. Looking for a way to gain strength, it is possible for that nation to push that group of people, and others who disagreed with their actions, to the brink of extinction through systematic persecution, and eventually mass murder.

That’s really what we’re up against, and the reason that I feel that it is important to understand, and be able to communicate, the concept of empathy – the true antidote to bullying, or the impulse to bully.

I’m glad the Girl’s generation will not grow up ignoring it.

The Girl and New Year 2012

Happy New Year everyone!

In thinking about the passage of time, I thought I’d post this pic, taken in June of 2007, when the Girl was a year and a half old. It’s one of my favourite pictures of the two of us.

It really doesn’t seem that long ago. And yet, it feels like an eternity. That is the nature of time, I guess. And I suppose too it underscores the point that we need to take hold of, and cherish, each era in the lives of our children. By extension of course, we grasp hold of our own eras, too. It’s one of the perks of parenthood.

From the Girl and I – well, mostly me – Have a Happy 2012!