The Girl and the Mass Transit Idea

Part of being a parent is passing along your values to your children.

One thing I seem to have passed along is my love for, and belief in, mass transit systems. This includes the idea of transportation that is sustainable, a part of city infrastructure which is otherwise walkable.

By the time The Girl is the age I am as I write this, it will be the year 2049. This is one year before the big alternative energy target year in Europe – the EU energy roadmap for 2050 –  that will completely discontinue dependence on fossil fuels, and nuclear power. By then, alternative energy will not be alternative. And mass transit won’t be a “nice to have”. I don’t know what the world will look like by then here in Canada, stuck as we are in 2013 having to endure subsidized propaganda about how oil pipelines are the future of economic prosperity, and as safe as mother’s milk.

If I’m still kickin’ by 2049, I’ll be 80, and still against all that!

In the meantime, a lot of the people in The Girl’s life live apart from each other; friends, relatives, and of course parents. It takes a while to get places sometimes. As is well documented here, I went without a car for a while, crossing bridges and making pick-ups that were often challenging. And even since I’ve had the car, we’ve talked about ways to use it responsibly, to take transit when we can, and definitely to walk places when it’s possible to do so.

In any case this sparked a discussion about mass transit as the Girl sees it. This isn’t just about her, and her immediate circle. We’re talking a global solution here!

Here it is: The Passway.

It’s an electrically-driven “elevator”-like public vehicle, that seats up to ten people, with room for bathrooms.  You go into it, and decide on a destination – anywhere in the world. That’s how it’s kind of like the elevator idea, walking in  and pressing a button to the floor you want to end up on. Only, with the Passway (so named because you are “passed” from one location to another), there is a central “brain” (her words!) that is accessed by way of a map interface – maybe like Google Earth or something (must confirm). You plot your course, and away you go. The Passway is supported by a network of wires that intersect all over the world.

“You can go to China!” asserts the Girl.

I haven’t asked her how much it costs (“why does the world need so much money?” she was quoted as saying last week, to which I had no conclusive answer …), or how long it would take to build. “I might invent it.” she says.

I’m hoping for a drawing. We’ll collaborate on it, as she also suggested. And I’ll post it here.

In the meantime, here’s a picture of the two of us; the burgeoning civil engineer, and her loyal draftsman.

The Girl and Random I Love Yous

It happens every so often. There is no pattern. It’s just:

“Daddy?”

“Yes, my love?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, honey.”

I don’t question it, and who would.

The Girl and Disco

Source: 1.bp.blogspot.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

Sometime ago, it occurred to me that I should introduce the Girl to disco.

I think there’s some pop song or other on the radio about now that samples “Le Freak” by Chic. Well, I suppose it’s not the first time that’s been done. Anyway the Girl was heard to proclaim “awwww FREAK OUT!” by me at one point. So, I suppose that was the initial inspiration.

Also, disco in its original incarnation was orchestrated music with all of the musical food groups; guitars, bass, keyboards, drums, sure. But, also brass, piles of strings, mallet percussion, and even things like oboes. It’s great music for “spot the instrument”, a leaping off point for teaching the Girl about instruments in general; how they sound, and what part of the music is made better because of them.

I guess another source of inspiration is that disco is all about women. It’s a genre that is unique in Western popular music because it’s dominated by women singers – Donna Summer, Sister Sledge, Thelma Houston, Diana Ross, and a bunch of others. There are a lot of guys who made disco music too, of course. But, disco was one of the only genres where the default was a female lead singer. The call for “girl songs” is a pretty easy button to push when it comes to disco.

In addition to coming out of gay culture, black culture, and immigrant culture, this woman-centrism may be one of the reasons why there was such a backlash against disco toward the end of its original incarnation.  For a while, it represented a cultural inversion, when the feminine voice became mainstream, and the Rule, before The Man noticed it was happening.

So in the light of all that, I did what any self-respecting music geek does when they love someone; I made her a mix. And here’s what she thinks of it.

Freak Out!  Disco 1974 – 1980

1. “Le Freak”  - Chic

This one is the lead-off, the original daddy. This one got her wondering about how the music actually works; which is the on-beat, which is the off-beat, what the heck is a backbeat? There aren’t too many tunes that can set a kid up for this kind of musical lesson, and be this much FUN.

Said the Girl: “It makes me want to DANCE!”

Or, Freak out, as it were. Presumably.

2. “We Are Family” – Sister Sledge

This is of course a tale of sisterly, and womanly, togetherness and empowerment. Disco is great for that kind of thing.

Said the Girl: “What does ‘birds of a feather’ mean? Are they really sisters? “

I think this one appeals to the Girl’s love of family, which is considerable. Otherwise, see the above “it makes me want to DANCE!” sentiments.

3. “Rock With You” – Michael Jackson

My favourite Jackson track. It just exudes innocence and fun that he himself, by all accounts, was denied.

Said the Girl: “He died?”

Yes. But only bodily. We can listen to him anytime.

4. “Upside Down” – Diana Ross

One time Motown pop-soul queen works with Chic (see above) to create an impossibly funky disco smash.

Said the Girl: “respect a me I say to knee…”

The correct lyrics: who needs ‘em?

5. “Funkytown” – Lipps Inc.

Partially instrumental disco/electro crossover hit that’s apparently annoying to some, maybe because it was ubiquitous on the radio in 1980. But, we love it.

Said the Girl: “Talkaboudit, talkaboudit, talkaboudit, talkaboudit …”

Well, what part do you sing?

6.  “September” – Earth, Wind & Fire

Indecipherable lyrics against an undeniable funky groove – what’s not to love? And with lots of horns!

Said the Girl: “This is my favourite because September is my birthday.”

This was a charmingly predictable response. Actually, this was soon amended to second favourite when she heard …

7. “Car Wash” – Rose Royce

The boss don’t mind sometimes if you act a fool. We can all relate to that, I  think.

 Said the Girl: *Clap. Clap. Clap-cuh-clap-clap-clap.*

Sometimes, keeping the beat is more important than words. And yet …

8.  “The Hustle” – Van McCoy

Philly-soul influenced semi-orchestral dance-craze disco hit out during the summer of 1975 – thirty years before the Girl was born! One drawback: not enough words, apparently.

Said the Girl: “I like it when there’s words.”

This is said just before a serious, committed vocal rendition of the melody, with appropriate “doo doo doo-duh-doo-duh-doo-doo-duh” phraseology.

9. “Don’t Leave Me This Way” – Thelma Houston

A dramatic, danceable operatic tragedy. What’s more disco than that?

Said the Girl: “I hear the froggy thing!”

I should explain. The “froggy thing” is the clavinet part. Don’t know what a clavinet is? Well, check out the song. It’s the froggy sound you’re hearing. Glad I could clear that up for you.

10. “Young Hearts Run Free” – Candi Staton

Superb soul singer Staton (check out her earlier recordings on the FAME label, kids)  has a big hit with a disco tune about getting trapped in a bad relationship. It’s a sad song that sounds happy. This is also a disco staple, of course.

Said The Girl: “She sings like Adele!”

Ah, yes. The musical threads are coming together as I had forseen …

11. “Ring My Bell” – Anita Ward

A cheeky little tune about grown-up things that was a hit in 1979 when I myself didn’t know it was a cheeky little tune about grown-up things.

Said The Girl: “Is it ring A bell, or ring MY bell?”

Um. It’s “Ring my bell”. No follow up questions, please.

12. “Night Fever” – The Bee Gees

Falsettoed British singer-songwriters with matching white jumpsuits and dental work with a song appearing on a soundtrack album that would define an era.

Said the Girl: “They sound like they’re really small. They sound like they’re as small as ants and they’re singing into a giant microphone that’s turned up really loud… “

Apt.

But, they were BIG!

13. “Rock The Boat” – Hues Incorporated

A latin-influenced early disco forerunning hit that strains a single, seagoing metaphor to its limits.

Said The Girl: That’s one boy singing with two girls.

Gender parity, erring on the side of “more girls” is important to the Girl.

14. “Last Dance” – Donna Summer

One of the greatest vocalists of the disco era, and a part of a sea change in dance music as the world knew it with Giorgio Moroder’s “I Feel Love”. But, this is my favourite Summer track, and a great closer to the mix.

Said the Girl: “How do you become a singer? Who do you have to ask?’” 

This led to a very rough description of the music business as I understand it. She files it away for later. But, I think the Teacher-Veterinarian career path is still pretty secure.

Well, I hope!

Anyway, there it is – disco. A part of her ongoing cultural education.

Sure, it’s old and it’s supposedly dead. But, disco is the basis for a lot of the pop music she loves that’s new, both directly and indirectly too.  I guess the larger thing here is the idea that stuff happened before she was born that affects how things are now, and that still has value in itself. It’s a history and music lesson all in one.

The Girl & The Pirate Ship

The traffic over the Alex Fraser bridge is unpredictable. It’s at the worst possible time of the day that I traverse the route during the working week. Most of the time, it’s busy but bearable. But on the day this week that I made my way to pick up the Girl, there were multiple accidents in both directions along the route.

So, in picking up the Girl at daycare that dark and rainy evening, and attempting a return journey, I just gave it up. It was time to say uncle to the traffic, being as it was completely clogged, and shrouded in darkness, rain, and palpable impatience all around. I think it was Shakespeare, or William Blake who once said: “You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em”.

So, the Girl and I got off the highway and repaired to a local family restaurant known for their varied menu, “O”sauce times three, and pirate-oriented kids menus. You know the one.

It was here that the Girl drew this:

It’s a picture of us, her and me, on a pirate ship of course. She took the liberty of dressing me as a pirate. Note the hat. And pay particular attention to the large, blue earring on my left ear, there. That was something she wanted me to notice specifically.

I’m sure the pirate theme of her menu helped to inspire it. But, I wonder too about the idea of adventures, of travailing the dark, rainy landscapes together, braving crazy traffic, with a bit of an adventure at coming to a restaurant to eat instead of my place might have had something to do with it too.

Our time together is very intentional. That’s the nature of how things are in both of our lives right now when it comes to each other. Sometimes, it really can feel like a nation of two, at sea together (in the best sense of that phrase), on adventures, even if some of them aren’t all that exciting to the casual observer.

It seems to me that this thing we’re all in, whatever it is, is a series of voyages. We gain and lose shipmates along the way. And when we all get to a certain age, maybe our ideal sailing companion on the search for treasure isn’t going to be our Dad. But, I do know that when this era is over, when spending hours on end together, just she and I, isn’t going to be enough for her, I will miss it. She will grow to the point that she will need the presence of others more so than she will need mine; her peers, her lovers, her times that she’ll need to be off on her own, and in her own presence, without anyone. That’s as it should be, of course.

But even when I will celebrate the person she becomes, I will miss the little Girl she was. This knowledge makes me want to capture moments like this as they happen, to savour them, to hard code how they make me feel into my memory, to be aware that I am in an era that is progressing toward newer ones that hold their own treasures, with everyone involved in them all in the state of becoming, including myself.

Perhaps this picture holds a symbol of this era she and I are in right now together, here in 2012 on the cusp of 2013. Maybe not. I don’t know. But, I really like it. It made me want to preserve it for posterity.

So, here it is.

The Girl and the Schedule

I was supposed to see the Girl get her orange belt in karate tonight, and was even on my way to the karate dojo to do just that. But, her Mum called to say that the Girl was home, sick. Stuck in traffic on the way anyway, I figured I’d go by and see her, even though it wasn’t my night.

At present, my nights are Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays overnight, with Sunday mornings therefore thrown in. Since her Mum and I split, it’s pretty much stayed this way, although I had Thursdays instead of Wednesdays for a long while. Those are my nights. The Girl, at this point, knows the routine. There have been times when we’ve deviated from it, for special occasions and other things. It’s not like the break-up is a hostile thing so much so that there’s no flexibility when it comes to sharing moments of triumph, like a karate belt ceremony.

But, sometimes  I think it strikes The Girl as weird that I’m there on the days I’m not “supposed” to be. I think when I swung by there tonight, she was surprised to see me. It’s like she lives in two worlds, two planets. One is the one I’m on. And the other is the life she has with her Mum. Well, maybe I’m more like a moon to her, rather than a whole planet.

Source: observando.net via ecomom on Pinterest

But, that’s actually OK.

One thing we talked about early on is that we wanted to make sure that the Girl was rooted, that she always felt a sense of home, not trapped between worlds, between two parents, even if she is a frequent flyer. Mostly, I think it works. That’s why it’s weird for her to see me not on my night, I think.

Once again – weird is good. I always knew it.

The Girl and the Late Summer Holiday

I had two weeks with the Girl this year once again, as her daycare provider took holidays too. The time was something of a “staycation” as I mentioned earlier. This meant picnics to local parks, bike camp (for the first week), the petting zoo at Queen’s Park (so grateful for that being there), a trip to Deer Lake Park, (where you can rent paddle boats!), and beginning our foray into chapter book reading at storytime – C.S Lewis’ The Magician’s Nephew.

I think the highlight was certainly the boating – a lot of fun! The Girl and I took turns steering, exploring Deer Lake; investigating the lilypads, following the Canada geese’s routes, dangling fingers in the cold, murky water. Meanwhile, it was pretty good excrcise for me, with the boat powered at some points entirely by Dad-power.

After our voyage on the lake. As it turned out, there were no giant octupi to contend with, as her dad may have suggested to her earlier.

Later in the day, she and I decided that instead of going to her Thursday karate class, we’d see a movie at the theatre instead. We decided to check out The Odd Life of Timothy Green, just a titch ahead of her in terms of narrative, and some content. But, she had questions that I think I was able to answer for her. The story is about a weird kid with a good heart, with that good heart overcoming his inability to conform to the modern idea of what a successful kid (or parent!) is. On the strength of that, it was worthwhile. On the way home, we talked a bit about what a good heart means, that it’s about being able to understand and respect the feelings and perspectives of others, and treat those people accordingly within your means.

It’s the single most important thing anyone can achieve in life.

One of the many tensions in being a parent, it seems to me, is to cherish the small moments, to capture them for posterity in the treasurehouse of our memories, and to understand that we are in river of time, that the sons and daughters we know today are in the process of moving on – and rightly so. Sometimes when I hold my Girl in my arms, or kiss her goodnight, I have the impulse to try to hold her as she is somehow, forever. I think it’s a human impulse to hang on to things we love which can’t really be hung onto.

But, the irony is that my goal works against that impulse, even if sometimes my feelings don’t. If I do my part correctly, I will be a key influence in transforming this sweet, six-year old Girl into a well-adjusted modern citizen who is driven by the moral principles of understanding, and empathy, helping her to be a confident, strong, informed, compassionate woman, with a keen sense of justice, balanced against an appreciation for the absurd to help her weather this increasingly absurd and unjust world. Yet, I know that I will miss this little Girl, with so many questions, so much trust, and with so few reservations about sharing her affection in a totally unselfconscious way; crawling into my lap when she’s tired, wrapping her hand around my neck and hanging onto my ear.

But today, Summer holidays are over. And Grade 2 is begun!

The Girl, Her Dad, Levon Helm, and His ‘Girl’

As some readers out there may or may not know, I’ve spent a few years writing a music blog, The Delete Bin, which among other things shows my geekdom surrounding all kinds of musical genres, ranging from pop music to jazz. This post here on MatGtGaM can be looked upon as something of a cross-over, maybe. But, this is ultimately about fathers and daughters, and their journey together. So, it fits.

Anyway, on April 19 of this year, one of my musical heroes passed away at the age of 71 after a long battle with cancer; Levon Helm. For those of you who don’t recognize the name, he was the drummer, singer, and multi-instrumentalist of the incredibly influential rock group The Band. Over the course of their life as a group, they’d backed Bob Dylan when he played his first “electric” concerts in the mid 1960s. They’d also created critically acclaimed, even game-changing albums, had played the Woodstock festival, and were featured in Martin Scorcese’s film about their last show – The Last Waltz.

But, all the while, Levon was also the father of a daughter, Amy. Here’s a cool picture of them, which recently appeared on Amy Helm’s Facebook page in memoriam of her late dad.

Source: plochmann.blogspot.com via Jamie on Pinterest

In this shot, it looks like Amy is about three or four years old. Her dad was in the heyday of the Band by this time, with this picture probably taken just before Levon and the rest of the group hit the road with Bob Dylan again for one of the biggest tours of the 1970s. Yet, he was a devoted father, with a daughter clearly devoted right back. Look at Amy’s little hand as it curls around the back of his neck. That’s love.

Later, when Amy grew up, the two of them would collaborate as fellow musicians, recording and touring, even here to Vancouver where I saw them play in 2010. They’d become close as adults. They’d become friends. This was inspiring to me at the time, when I saw them perform together.

But, in seeing this picture, it struck me that they had a relationship that must have developed over time to get things to the point where they could develop a healthy adult relationship. Even in the middle of his success as a touring musician in a major act, he still found the time for Amy, who when she became an adult herself took to friendship and artistic collaboration with her father as a matter of course.

I imagine that the story isn’t quite as simple as that.  I imagine there were struggles and strains between them like there are in every relationship. But, what I’m reminded of when I look at this picture is that I too have a goal that’s pretty clear where the Girl is concerned; see to it that I function as best I can as her father now, as she needs me to be for her during this period of her childhood, so that later on, she and I can also become good friends as adults.

I think ultimately this is what every parent wants. It certainly looks as though Levon and Amy had it. In her grief, I imagine this is one of the treasures that Amy can take as her own, and is something from her dad that is stronger and more enduring than his death.

For more information about Amy Helm, and her relationship with her dad (among other things), read this interview with Amy Helm.

The Girl In Stanley Park On Earth Day Weekend, 2012

On Sunday this week, it was Earth Day. So, on the Saturday, the Girl and I sallied forth to spend the day outdoors. Specifically, we decided that it might be fun to take the SkyTrain down to Stanley Park, leaving the car at home and seeing what we could see.

Taking public transit used to be a matter of course for us. Since I bought my car last year, our adventures on the SkyTrain have been fewer than they used to be, I must admit. But, what better time than Earth Day weekend than to go green, not just in leaving the car at home, but by reconnecting with nature?

Stanley Park is a good place to do that, with a natural temperate rainforest just a single bus ride away from downtown Vancouver. So, we hit Royal City Center Mall, stocked up on fruit, and a bag of mixed nuts for the road, bought the Girl a transit pass, and set off on our transit adventure, hoping on the 155 bus.

We took the SkyTrain downtown, and after lunch at Tim Horton’s on West Pender, and upon stepping off the 19 bus, I used my questionable directional skills to get us to Lost Lagoon. One of the missions of the day was to see a swan, you see. Since my directional skills really are questionable, it took a while before we got to Lost Lagoon. Instead, we took a trek to the Rose Garden.

From here, we took to the trails, reading about the health of the forests, and the delicate balance of its ecosystem on signs along the way.  We wound our way down the trail to Beaver Lake, where we saw wood ducks, red-wing blackbirds, sparrows, and (amazingly!) a heron.

After a snack (bringing snacks is key to these kinds of outings, people!), we took a stroll back to the Rose garden, just to hang out again. There were highlights here too once we stationed ourselves on a patch of grass in the sunshine, with several newlyweds, dressed in their finery, and in one case in a horse-drawn carriage being among the most notable.

But, the real highlight may have been the swans, since I eventually did find Lost Lagoon. Did I get a picture of them? Not one that turned out, I’m afraid. But, I do have an enduring memory of a great day out with the Girl, in which we had lots of laughs, lots of ed-juh-cay-shun about our natural world in time for Earth Day, and a positive verdict from the Girl:

The Girl: This was a great idea!

Me: What was? (thinking it would be something about the trip)

The Girl: Bringing snacks!

The Girl and the New Word Game

The Girl and I play a lot of word games and guessing games, mostly in the car as we’re to-ing and fro-ing from daycare to home, and back to her mum’s.

A popular one has been the “Animal game”, which I’ve mentioned here a couple of times by now, which is basically twenty questions about animals, without the “twenty” restriction. But, The Girl is constantly seeking to innovate when it comes to word games and guessing games, usually with extremely ambitious rules that  seem to be weighted in her favour.

The Girl: I thought of a new game. I choose a letter, and then you guess which word begins with the letter.

Me: OK. It can be any word?

The Girl: Yes. I’ll go first: “E”

Me: Um. Can I have a hint?

The Girl: It has to do with an animal.

Me: Right. So, this word is animal-related in some way. Um. Elephant?

The Girl: No.

Me: OK. Egret?

The Girl: No.

Me: Elk?

The Girl: No.

Me: Um, earthworm?

The Girl: NO.

Me: OK, I can’t actually think of any other “E” words that are animal-related.

The Girl: Want me to tell you?

Me: Sure.

The Girl: It’s “donkey”!

Me: Donkey? That doesn’t begin with “E”.

The Girl: But donkeys say “EEEE-YAWWW”

Me: I don’t like this game.

The Girl and Antlers

Here’s some photos.  First, the festive antler-oriented shot:

And the non-festive, and kinda nutty.